One where the participants have developed complete trust in each other. It involves both trusting behavior, which is any behavior that increases someone's vulnerability to another, and trustworthy behavior, which is a response to trusting behavior that protects the vulnerability of the other person. People weigh the possible costs and rewards for disclosing personal information and use that to decide whether they will open up more or not.
Rachel and I were still emailing each other daily at this point and we had maintained our human interaction to acceptable levels. We trusted each other, but how much? Enough to spend an entire day together in a confined space on the open road? Let me explain, I love road trips and cannot go for long without talking about them. And since Rachel and I had already passed the sharing our dislikes and likes stage, she knew this about me and was intrigued. But! A road trip can go horribly wrong if the people chemistry is off. I have seen them end in tears and murder. Like mind murder, when you imagine murdering someone because they have become so annoying to you that their death seems the only way out. For this new friendship, passing the road trip test would be equivalent to complete trust. It would mean we would be real, official friends. Was it a success? Or did I mind murder her? Only one way to find out.
Rachel Kagan September 2 at 9:31am
Hey, do you want to go on a road trip?
Kathryn Rawson September 2 at 11:41am
Great idea! Let's go on a road trip. Fax me your ideal itinerary.
Rachel Kagan September 2 at 2:42pm
Road trip! My only worry would be you getting sick of me and then hating me forever but regardless of that minor insecurity I look forward to this.
Kathryn Rawson September 2 at 4:41pm
Why don't we do a day trip to buffalo to check out the Albright Knox gallery? We could also go to a gun range and shoot machine guns but maybe that's not your cup of tea. I would also be happy to eat wings. Are you a vegetarian though? I can't believe I don't know the answer to that.
I once drove to buffalo with my friend Ed. We got stopped at the border for 2 hours due to his British-ness. I was still friends with him after that harrowing experience so I'm sure we will be fine.
When my sister and I were kids and driving with my mom she would sometimes say "let's just drive to florida right now!". And we would go "yaaaaayyyyy". But then we never did. Now I have the power to self-drive to florida but I never do. I guess I inherited my mom's capacity for big ideas with no follow-through.
Rachel Kagan September 3 at 9:14am
A day trip to Buffalo would be great. Yaaaayyyy! I’m not sure about the gun range but I support everything you do so I can go as an observer. I am sort of a vegetarian. Basically I only eat kosher meat, which means I don’t eat meat often unless I go to my parents. I have experimented with non-kosher and it’s fine and all, but I enjoy having boundaries so I keep kosher, but not in an extreme way. I am sure a wings establishment will have other non-winged food for me to eat.
I like it when you said self drive. Even in September you are funny. Amazing.
Kathryn Rawson September 21 at 10:49am
How do you feel about visiting Target while we are there? Do you love Target? I do. And not just because they sell Diet Cherry Coke Zero. Also, how do you feel about leaving early to maximize our Buffalo enjoyment? Like say 8am or so.
Rachel Kagan September 21 at 12:57pm
I cannot absolutely declare my love for Target since I’ve only been there twice and both times were with extremely stressful. Here is one example of why it was so stressful: I watched a man try to rip open an unpurchased cell phone charger to see if it would fit his cell phone. I guess the information on the product saying it would fit his brand and model of cell phone was not believable enough. Anyway, as you may know some of those more rigid plastic packages are extremely difficult to open without a chainsaw and so he cut himself on the packaging and started bleeding in the store and on the product. It’s okay though because it fit. So he decided to buy it. But not that one. He put that one back and took a new one since that one was clearly ruined and looked like it could be an exhibit from a murder scene. Unfortunately and unfairly I associate Target with stress and blood. But it was a long time ago and I feel much better about going with you and Bronwyn.
I also feel good about leaving early. Should I come to your place at 8am?
Kathryn Rawson September 21 at 2:48pm
This trip to Target will be different, I promise. we will buy cheap Larabars. Bronwyn will buy cleaning products. I will look at the nail polish but decide I have enough already. There will be no blood or stressful scenes of package opening.
Check this out, I can pick you up. That is the service I offer for road trips. Try to contain your excitement. I will print out many sets of directions to be safe.
Rachel Kagan September 21 at 4:01pm
Check! Thanks for the pick-up offer. I will send you directions later. Not because I think you may appear outside my window tonight, but because I have more to say and I don’t want you to get distracted by directions and addresses.
Kathryn Rawson September 21 at 5:39pm
No it's good that you don't give me directions until you absolutely have to. I like to do pick-up dry-runs so I would be at your window every day until Sunday. You have saved us both a fair amount of anxiety.
Kathryn Rawson September 24 at 2:40pm
I am very excited for Sunday. It will be a good day.
Is it wrong that I find the return of fall programming so comforting? I really enjoyed sitting on my couch for 3 hours last night to watch television.
Rachel Kagan September 24 at 4:04pm
I am also as excited for Sunday as you are. The same amount. Okay, maybe 5% more.
No, it is a very right feeling. Everything about fall is great: tv, crisp weather, tights, leaves, soups, etc.
Kathryn Rawson September 25 at 5:04pm
Did I mention that I paid a gypsy $10 to create a psychic connection between us? It's just a little gift that I thought you would like.
I plan to leave my house at 8am tomorrow to come pick you up so I should be there at 8:20. I will text you when I am somewhat near. Buffalo!
Now I am going to try and catch up on my Zips.
Will Netflix tempt us away from Zip? that is an approved topic of discussion for tomorrow.
Rachel Kagan September 25 at 8:03pm
Ooohhh! That explains why I always know what you are thinking. It's always wise to invest with the gypsies.
I have to research Netflix in order to partake in our conversation. Here are a few other, pending-approval topics: your review of that pre-lip-debacle Meg Ryan movie; Rocky vs. Mad Max: who would win; not politics; red velvet cake: body wash vs. cake form, which is better; weather patterns.
Road trip! I look forward to your near-destination text.
I have to go watch a lot of HBO now.
Rachel Kagan September 27 at 9:30am
Thanks again for the door-to-door service and all the safe driving you did yesterday. You are good at road trips, and very easy-going.
Let us never go see that Katherine Heigel and Josh Duhamel movie.
I hope your sleep was restful and not impacted by American coke zero.
Kathryn Rawson September 27 at 11:41am
You're most welcome. I think that was a very successful road trip. We saw many great things, bought great things, got along great and sailed through the border like professionals. It's rare that people will agree to have 2 meals within a 3 hour period so I was happy we all seemed to like that.
We will never ever see that movie. I might watch it on a plane one day but only if that plane is taking me straight to hell.
I slept quite well thank you, despite the fact that I ate like an American yesterday. How did you sleep?
Rachel Kagan September 27 at 2:37pm
I slept well too. Aside from a brief disturbance by my insomniac, loud-footed upstairs neighbour. I put my sleep machine on and it soothed me. Yes, I am that neurotic to own a sleep machine.
You should also know that every time we start a new message thread (twice), I am filled with nostalgia for the old message threads (twice). Clearly I am now not even trying to hide my craziness from you which means that I owe you a congratulations, since we have made it to the next level (the level where I don't hide my craziness).
Kathryn Rawson September 27 at 4:42pm
I love getting fake prizes. we usually drive home from the Buff around dinner time. There is often bad traffic and a wait at the border.
Don't worry! The old message threads are still there. our messages are like friends and you know the saying: make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold. Our old messages are like shiny, precious gold.
Is that even a saying? Or something I was forced to sing at Brownies?
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