This involves spending more time with a person, usually in a group setting. And learning more intimate information.
Ahhh! I am expressing my fear regarding this stage in retrospect. Rachel and I were headed for our first human contact since meeting each other at badminton. We had been communicating for several weeks via email but gone would be the soft, gentle barrier of technology. We would have to make eye contact and talk into each others’ faces while hiding our anxiety about such situations and trying to seem as much like normal people as possible while punching all our crazy deep down inside to the pits of our beings.
This future we live in makes connecting with real people unnecessary and strange. It’s much easier to hide oneself behind an online profile. Real life interaction takes practice for some of us. But if the reward is friendship is it worth it? Quite possibly. All depending on the quality of this new friend of course. For a medium friend, I’m going to go with no. For a friend who can equal you in bear punnery, I’m going to say a resounding yes.
Rachel Kagan July 20 at 12:40pm
I find it hard to believe that you’re shy. I mean look at how much you’ve opened up to me and all it took was one badminton death match. I fully expect to be your bridesmaid.
Kathryn Rawson July 20 at 4:32pm
I have never seen a ghost but I do love horror movies about ghosts, even though they scare me terribly. I should stop watching them but I cannot help myself. I guess you could say I do ghost heroin. Besides who needs restful sleep? I'll tell you who, hippies.
I do agree with you on night goggles. I watched Paranormal Activity recently. The night vision accounted for at least 60% of the terror.
I am only shy in certain ways. Going from stalker to friend is one of them. It's just that I have been rejected so many times by stalkees. it has made me quite fragile.
Rachel Kagan July 21 at 10:25am
Sandra Bullock and Jennifer Aniston both have stalkers and they have the nerve to complain about it. Ungrateful. What’s wrong with a little attention? Hate them.
Kathryn Rawson July 21 at 11:49am
How will I know if I am a good person if I don't have a stalker? I need the attention of the world's weirdos to validate my existence. I guess fancy pantses like aniston and bullock think they're above that.
Rachel Kagan July 21 at 12:21pm
Ah, a question that’s been asked for generations by people just like us the world over. We're all looking for something - be it love, acceptance, self-respect - but really we are just looking to be stalked. It’s beautiful.
That said, I can validate your existence but only through Facebook. Which reminds me, let’s bring our laptops to Sarah’s party so we can communicate.
Kathryn Rawson July 21 at 2:06pm
Good call on bringing our laptops. I will not be able to look you in the eye. Years of stalking have made me eye gaze weary.
It's true, life is beautiful. But only if you have a stalker.
Do you know what I love about Facebook? having my mom as a 'friend'. Does it stop me from using words like 'skullfucking'? No. Should it? Maybe.
Rachel Kagan July 21 at 3:37pm
I feel conflicted and scared to see you again. On the one hand I want you to acknowledge me but on the other you are like an eclipse – I know I can’t look directly at you, but part of me wants to.
I have offered to get the cake for the party – 30% of the cake will be allocated to Sarah because it’s her birthday and the rest will be to celebrate our virtual-eye-averting-friendship, I think that’s a fair allocation given all there is to celebrate that day.
At least your mom knows how to write on your wall and supports you and your interests. My mom poked me once and then forgot about me.
Kathryn Rawson July 21 at 4:24pm
I also feel conflicted. perhaps I will wear my modesty veil. It goes great with my binding shoes. Did I fail to mention I am an anti-feminist? Well I am. Big time.
And remember, never stop laughing. Which incidentally is the title of my self-help book. It's going to be huge.
Rachel Kagan July 21 at 4:53pm
I would buy your self-help book. You are very comforting and consoling when you speak of the end of the world so I trust you implicitly. But to be clear, I’d buy your book but I wouldn’t look at you.
Kathryn Rawson July 22 at 11:00am
If I ever get plastic surgery I am going to make myself look like a tougher animal. Perhaps a bear. Doctor can you please add a bunch of fat below my waist? And maybe give me some fur all over? Just try looking at me then.
I will be documenting my transformation in my book Becoming Ursine. Alternate title: Bearly Human.
Rachel Kagan July 22 at 2:02pm
I don’t think I could look at you if you had that surgery. Too unbearable. Is it still a pun if it’s spelled right? I’m gonna try again because I like to beat a good joke right into the ground. Did you ever see the doc Grizzly Man? About Timothy Treadwell stalking bears? It would be barbearic of me to joke about this given the sad, disturbing nature of the film.
Kathryn Rawson July 22 at 4:22pm
You are quite the barbearian. I too like to beat jokes to death and beyond. I did see grizzly man. One of the things I enjoy most in this world is listening to werner herzog speak. "don't listen to the tape, june, don't listen to it". I am paraphrasing from memory. Yet still, magical.
Rachel Kagan July 23 at 9:33am
It is probably clear to you by now that sometimes I am not the most succinct. Except at parties where I am anti-social and hovering around wherever the champagne is.
Beating jokes to death is the best. I can’t think of any more bear jokes so I think it’s safe to say we murdered it. Murder! Your fave.
Kathryn Rawson July 23 at 11:41am
I do love a good murder. Of a joke or a face. Either one satisfies my need for violence. Face murder! There is nothing so good as seeing a face get murdered. Only a deserving face mind you. You know who I'm talking about. I don't care how old her face is, no mercy. [Betty White]
At parties I like to hover near the cheese plate if there is one. Then I like to eat enough cheese to almost die. It's just this thing I do. I call it, living life.
Rachel Kagan July 23 at 12:42pm
Sounds like you know a thing or two about living life. I eat my feelings in cheese. And let me tell you, I have a lot of feelings.
I always know who you are talking about. And she’s so old her first co-star was a Stegosaurus. Cheesy!
I sound like Milton effing Berle over here.
Kathryn Rawson July 23 at 2:52pm
Yah-ta-ta. that's what I believe to be an old-timey way of expressing a cheesy joke. I have a lot of beliefs about things. Only a small per cent of them are racist. Don't worry, my racism is all redhead-related. Which is funny because I occasionally get put into that category. Self-hatred, pretty average. I can't help it. My grandmother once told me that redheads are evil. Then she crossed herself and poured holy water on me. It only burned a little.
Rachel Kagan July 24 at 10:47am
So I think all our murder talk influenced the cake I got. I wanted badminton-related but due to a potentially racist situation I went with the opposite of that: kill-related. What I got is ridiculous.
From what I remember, you have nice hair. For a ginger.
Kathryn Rawson July 26 at 12:05pm
You totally murdered that cake. conceptually I mean. Although I thought it was kind of racist of you to only have a white hunter. But then I remembered that I am okay with that. Your racism I mean. I am a very accepting person. Actually I am more of an excepting person. I am not okay with many things. Too many to list. Racism and gun violence happen to be on my pass list. This world is a large, boring place. It would be so tiresome without a little bit of depravity. Let everyone else be good. I will continue to be a jerk. Are you with me?
Rachel Kagan July 26 at 12:36pm
I’m glad that it wasn’t too awkward when we saw each other live in person. Not to say it wasn’t. Obviously I was pretty uncomfortable but I was hiding it as best I could.
Kathryn Rawson July 26 at 2:06pm
I am also glad it wasn't too awkward. Usually I have alcohol to bolster me in uncomfortable situations. My cleanse leaves me exposed. Kale is no comfort to the socially awkward.
No comments:
Post a Comment