Holy fishsticks! We are one stage away from becoming fully stabilized, which is every friendship journey’s goal. But in retrospect, talk about pressure! There was a lot riding on us during this stage and we didn’t even know it. We were making the careful leap of moving from just sharing biographical facts with each other, to trusting each other with the truth. The truth! Ahhh!
By sharing our precious internal mind possessions, those being our thoughts and ideas, we were growing our friendship. We started with my sharing my dream to produce an infomericial for a band-aid dispenser. Oh yeah, we also talked about how we feel about relationships and ambition, other important things to share and be honest about.
Rachel Kagan July 27 at 11:36am
A cottage for a week sounds so great, though I will miss our virtual communication. You have helped make Facebook a better place.
The infomercial idea has a good physical humour element to it, but I see you are testing my writing abilities so here goes. Note that my idea is (a) classified and (2) loosely inspired by both Ron Popiel and Quentin Tarantino.
Picture it: woman in kitchen, making dinner, cutting vegetables with a large knife, large knife cuts her finger badly, lots and lots of blood is spurting everywhere (think Tarantino), the white cupboards are splashed with blood as is her lovely white ensemble, she reaches for the band-aid drawer and clumsily struggles with getting the band-out of it’s confusing cover and can’t seem to remove those darn tabs, then gives up, bloody hands up in defeat, frowning, blood everywhere.
Next shot: my band-aid invention, similar to a reinforcement dispenser from grade school (remember those, you pull on a tab and the punch hole reinforcement comes out?).
Next shot: another woman making dinner, same situation, instead, she smiles calmly and reaches for the dispenser and puts on the band-aid with no trouble at all, smiling, and goes back to cooking happily.
There would be a really good patronizing voice-over throughout. End.
I go through phases where I am more social, I’m going through that now, so that’s why you got to meet me. I have trouble in relationships and with people and communicating so like all love it ended and here I sit alone.
Kathryn Rawson July 27 at 4:15pm
Of course I love your informerical idea. Anything doused in blood is okay by me. Oh except my dinner, I would prefer that to not be doused in blood. Unless it's a very rare steak. Then it can be doused in a small amount of blood. But back to your idea, genius. Will you do something with it?
I too have problems with relationships and often sit here alone. I also find I get along better with men because I worry I am going to offend women or something. So I act weird around them like they are precious and can't handle my sarcasm. Then that makes me feel weird. Although to be fair, girls can be pretty annoying.
Rachel Kagan July 28 at 9:36am
I remember vividly that idea forming in my brain many, many years ago. I was at my dad’s and explained it in a most theatrical way. It was the first and last time I truly felt brilliant.
I have ideas and then I don’t do anything with them. Sad. Ambition, where did you go?
Relationships can be hard, particularly with women. We can be moody, snappish, jealous and hold grudges. I think I am improving with age as I learn from my mistakes and can better admit what my flaws are. Anyway, don’t let my mask of sarcasm fool you. Years of shyness, using humour as a defense mechanism, comparing myself to others, and closed-mindedness, have made it hard to be open (but not, apparently, at this particular vulnerable Facebook moment).
Kathryn Rawson July 28 at 11:17am
I don't think I ever have had any real ambition. As my mom used to say: for a smart girl you do such stupid things. Like nothing. I do a lot of that. I am trying to be a person that does more of something though. I am of course easing myself into it.
I am rarely fooled by sarcasm unless of course it is my own. That jerk fools me all the time. I often wonder how my life would be different if I was not a shy, anxious person but then I think life would be boring if I wasn't always so obsessed with the way I am living it. What would I think about if not that? How to solve the world's problems? Gross.
The way we perceive ourselves is often so different from the way others perceive us. I know that is an obvious thing to say but I am always surprised by it. I never would have described you as shy after our badminton war.
Rachel Kagan July 28 at 12:06pm
So true – the way we perceive ourselves is different from the way others view us. While it may be obvious, it’s easily forgotten. We put a magnifying glass on ourselves and assume others do the same, when in reality no one else does. Except our mothers. I sort of hope that critical-self-over-analysis goes away with age. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to be self-aware, just less crazy.
In truth, I had no intention of going to badminton that night as I have been in this weird dismissive mood of social gatherings lately so I forced myself to go and be social. I know it look natural but it was painful.
I can dish out the sarcasm likes there’s no tomorrow but sometimes I can be dense and not recognize when it’s dished to me. Don’t worry, I get your dishing of sarcasm and while I may be precious, I can handle it. But mostly I just enjoy it.
Kathryn Rawson July 28 at 2:54pm
I think I am getting less crazy.
People who know me really well think I am brash and sassy. Which is true but I am also incredibly reserved. Like the good half-German I should be. When I visited relatives in Germany last year I really enjoyed their cold, distant affection. I felt like I belonged. But then I had to come back to stupid Canada. Just kidding, I don't think Canada is stupid but I often think I would do better living in a different city.
I often force myself to go to social things because of the chance that something interesting might happen. That only happens 5% of the time. I also try to do things that are outside my comfort zone. Life is all about learning.
What are you most precious about?
Rachel Kagan July 28 at 5:12pm
I am most precious about my material possessions and my hair. Um, I guess I can just be sensitive and anxious about stuff like life, people, love, future, did I leave the iron plugged in, etc.
Like you wisely say, life is about learning and being open and I’m just trying to be better at that. My comfort zone is small and I don't like change so it's challenging. I really don’t want to be that person that is focused on love and crap but it’s hard when it’s all around and allegedly life is about companionship. I thought it was about food.
There are times to be brash and sassy and there are times to be reserved. People that are one or the other are weirdos. You seem balanced.
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